


Actions & Reactions

by Rebekah_Zellers



Category: NCIS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 10:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16060922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebekah_Zellers/pseuds/Rebekah_Zellers
Summary: When Gibbs impatience causes his temper to flare.. how does the consequences change their lives?





	1. Chapter 1

Team Gibbs was at the end of their rope; the case was in the fifth day with no solid leads and a suspect list that grew by the hour. Every day brought more victims both dead and alive, more evidence to process and more stories to weed through. Patience was growing thin, nerves were becoming frazzled and tempers were starting to flare.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs growled as he yelled for his Senior Agent. "Get your ass over here; we're going to go question Tyler again."

"On it Boss," Tony called as he jogged over to the grab his backpack from a nearby tree. Starting towards the car, Tony stumbled slightly twisting his ankle in the process.

Gibbs, not known for his patience, was becoming irritated as the seconds ticked by without Tony joining him. Putting the car into reverse, Gibbs decided he would just pick expedite the process of his agent joining him. The moment his foot tapped the accelerator was the moment that would change their lives forever.

"Gibbs!" McGee screamed. "Stop the damn car!" The thunk of Tony's body hitting the back and falling to the ground filled the air. Slamming on the brakes, Gibbs threw the car in park and cut the engine, jumping from the barely stopped vehicle as he did.

"Tony!" Gibbs yelled as he rounded the back of the car. "Tony?" Gibbs voice shook as much as he hand did as it reached for his younger friend.

"Bishop," McGee barked. "Call an ambulance! His pulse is strong and he doesn't seem to be having any issues breathing." Tim tried to sound reassuring as he spoke.

"Gibbs?" Tony whimpered. "Boss?"

"I'm right here, Tony." Gibbs put a restraining hand on his agent's shoulder. "Stay down; there is an ambulance on the way.

"It hurts," Tony whimpered as he struggled to move. "God, it hurts."

 

"Agent Gibbs," Palmer jogged up with supplies in his arms and Ducky close behind. "We grabbed some things from the truck." Turning his attention to his friend, Palmer was on the ground as close as he could get. "Tony," Palmer called to his friend. "You need to stay as still as possible; Dr. Mallard is going to look you over. I'm going to hold your head still until the paramedics get here and we can get you on a backboard with a collar."

"Jimmy?" Tony looked up at his friend. "My legs are tingling; am I pinned under the car?"

"No, you're not. Don't worry about the tingling." Palmer reassured. "You just concentrate on your breathing; Dr. Mallard is working on taking care of everything else. I hear the ambulance coming, Tony. Just hold on for me, buddy."

The EMTs pushed Gibbs out of the way utilizing the medical skills of both Ducky and Palmer in getting their patient situated. "We're going to roll you on your side, Tony." Palmer called. "We need to get the backboard under you. You don't need to help us; we're going to do all the work you just relax."

"Okay," DiNozzo called softly. "My chest is a little tight, Jimmy."

"Okay," Palmer looked at the EMT watching as they got some oxygen ready. "We're going to get you some oxygen to help you out as soon as you're on this backboard."

With Tony situated, Palmer put the mask over his friend's nose and mouth. "Leave it on or I will have McGee superglue it to your face." The teasing was a great tension reliever for Tony and he relaxed a little allowing the professionals to immobilize his body in every way possible.

"We're going to roll," the driver yelled. "I will radio ahead to let them know the situation."

"Boss," Tony called through the mask.

"Yeah," Gibbs jogged up to the side of the gurney. "Take Bishop with you; check out Tyler's step father."

"Okay," Gibbs tried to keep it together. How could Tony think that he would go off and question a suspect now? It took a minute but Gibbs soon had the answer to his question. This was Tony; the kid had grown up pretty much raising himself without someone to be there for him during the broken bones, skinned knees and simple childhood hurts.

"Jethro," Ducky called to his friend. "You are coming with me. Eleanor and Timothy can handle this situation; you are his next of kin and your place is at the hospital."

"Call Vance," Gibbs ordered. "Get him to assign you a couple agents and make sure you save Tony's things; he's going to want them back."

The emergency room was busy; Gibbs and Ducky were left waiting in the general population unable to get an update on Tony's condition. Ducky watched as his friend alternated between pacing to looking out the window, to sitting in every vacant chair he could find while pacing.

"Jethro," Ducky said softly. "Let's go find you some coffee and perhaps charm a nurse into getting us an update."

Gibbs was reluctant; he wanted to know how Tony was doing but the guilt was almost palatable. "Duck, what if he's paralyzed because of me?"

"Don't borrow trouble, Jethro." Ducky said softly. "We'll cross that bridge if we have to when we have to."

"Agent Gibbs," Dr. Markell walked out of the trauma room. "We just got the MRI back; Agent DiNozzo has a compression of the spinal cord, some impressive bruising, there were some deep cuts that required suturing and a concussion from hitting his head. We're moving him to a room now."

"Will he be able to walk?" Gibbs asked softly.

"I honestly do not know at this point," Dr. Markell was brutally honest. "We're going to have to wait and see."

Just as Gibbs was about to ask another question, the doors to the trauma room opened and DiNozzo was wheeled out and towards the elevators.

"May we accompany him?" Ducky questioned.

"Yes," Dr. Markell nodded as he spoke. "We gave him some strong pain killers despite his protests. We're going to keep him on the oxygen so he's comfortable and we'll do another MRI tomorrow."

"Okay," Gibbs nodded. "Ducky, you go with DiNozzo. I'm going to check in with McGee."

"Jethro?" Ducky was worried and confused. "If you are not there when Anthony wakes he's going to believe something is wrong."

"Something is wrong," Gibbs confirmed. "I put that man in that bed; that's wrong."

"Dr. Mallard," Dr. Markell called. "Take care of Agent Gibbs; we'll get Tony settled in room 319. You are permitted to come and go as you need to just do not upset my patient."

Stepping outside, Ducky watched as Gibbs hailed a cab and left the hospital grounds. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he called the only person that he thought could get through to Gibbs.

"Mr. Palmer," Duck sighed. "I'm in need of your assistance." Filling Palmer in on Tony's condition, Ducky returned to be at Tony's side leaving Jethro in the hands of his very capable assistant.

The door to Gibbs' house was not locked; it never was. Palmer eased his way inside, seeing the basement light on; he started down the stairs rehearing in his head what he wanted to say.

"What do you want Palmer?" Gibbs growled as he sanded on the boat; a half full bottle of Jack on the bench.

"For you to stop acting like a jackass." Palmer replied surprising himself at the courage he had mustered for his friend. "You're Tony's family; his father figure. If he's going to pull through this; he needs you. Pull yourself together and stop being the bastard that you boast being. He's your family, Agent Gibbs and you're his. You're all he feels he has most days."


	2. Chapter 2

The door to Gibbs' house was not locked; it never was. Palmer eased his way inside, seeing the basement light on; he started down the stairs rehearing in his head what he wanted to say.

"What do you want Palmer?" Gibbs growled as he sanded on the boat; a half full bottle of Jack on the bench.

"For you to stop acting like a jackass." Palmer replied surprising himself at the courage he had mustered for his friend. "You're Tony's family; his father figure. If he's going to pull through this; he needs you. Pull yourself together and stop being the bastard that you boast being. He's your family, Agent Gibbs and you're his. You're all he feels he has most days."

"Go home, Jimmy." Gibbs took a drink of the beer on his bench.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Agent Gibbs," Palmer walked down the stairs and moved to stand in front of the older man. "What happened was an unfortunate incident and I know you're sorry that Tony got hurt. If you are not at his side when he wakes up, he's going to think he did something to upset you."

"I hurt him," Gibbs got in Palmer's face. "He may not walk again because of me."

"He'll do everything he can to walk again because of you," Palmer retorted. "Tony will fight with everything he has so that he does not disappoint you."

"Even though I put him in that bed?" Gibbs growled.

"Especially because of that," Palmer sighed. "Tony did not grow up with a normal childhood, Agent Gibbs. Do you know how many times he ended up in the hospital at the hands of his father?"

"No," Gibbs shook his head.

"Me either but I'm sure there were a few that he will never admit to," Palmer moved to sit on the stool by the bench. "The point is that his father was too busy with business meetings and landing the next big deal to have time for his son. Every story Tony's ever told me about when he was younger and got sick; there isn't anyone in them that takes care of him."

"I know," Gibbs nodded. "I've heard a couple myself."

"You are his second chance," Palmer stood and turned Gibbs toward him. "You don't have to live up to the second B, Agent Gibbs. Tony has always said you are a tough man but you are a fair man; he also says that you are a man of great compassion. Show him some of that compassion; he believes in that man that none of us get to see; it's time that he's seen."

"I can't, Palmer." Gibbs took another drink. "I can't pretend like I didn't put him there."

"You won't have to," Palmer gave it a minute. "Tony's going to forgive you; you're Gibbs and to him that's all you need to be."

"That shouldn't be enough," Gibbs grunted.

"It's all he will ever need," Palmer gave a sigh seeing that Gibbs wasn't budging. "I'm going to the hospital," Palmer started for the steps. "If you're not going to be there when he wakes up, I want to be. There are going to be a lot of questions that he'll want answered."

 

Picking up his mug of Jack, Gibbs paused in frustration throwing it against the wall as he allowed himself to collapse in a heap on the floor. Curling into a ball, the older man shivered as the cold seeped into his bones and the memories of the day revisited him.

Palmer made his way to the hospital, finding Ducky exactly where he had expected by Tony's side.

"Did you speak to Jethro?" Ducky questioned.

"I did," Palmer nodded. "We talked; I'm not sure if I did any good."

"I know you Mr. Palmer," Ducky smiled sadly at his associate and friend. "You spoke from your heart and it was effective."

"Boss?" Tony groaned as he started to fight his way through the drugs.

"Anthony," Ducky moved to one side and Palmer the other. "Just take it easy, Anthony."

"Gibbs?" Tony called out again.

"Tony," Palmer moved so he was over Tony's face. "Agent Gibbs isn't here right now. Get some rest; Dr. Mallard and I will be right here for you when you wake up again."

"Is Gibbs okay?" Tony's eyes went from Palmer to Ducky.

"Yes," Palmer reassured. "He's okay; wrapping up the case."

"I can't feel my legs," Tony whimpered. "Why can't I feel my legs?"

"You have a spinal cord injury from your accident," Palmer said softly. "Right now there is a lot of swelling and bruising. Let's see what some rest and the medication do for you."

"Okay," Tony whispered as the drugs took back over and he fell asleep.

"Jethro better be here the next time Anthony wakes up," Ducky gritted out. "The boy is more upset about him not being here than anything."

"I knew he would be," Palmer shook his head. "All we can do is pray that what I said gets through to him."

Gibbs pulled himself up from the cold floor and paced the basement; the guilt was eating at him. There was so much that he wanted to say to Tony but the words just weren't there to say it when they were face to face.

"Why did I have to be in a damn hurry?" Gibbs growled. "Why couldn't you disobey an order for once? Damn it, Dinozzo!"

"Don't put that on the boy, Probie." Mike's voice filled Gibbs' thoughts. "He worships the ground you walk on; he was following orders. You get so damn impatient sometimes, JETHRO."

"Jesus," Gibbs swiped a hand over his face. "Fine time to haunt my basement, Mike."

"Someone's got to knock some sense into that thick head of yours," Frank smirked as he watched his friend's face turn from rage back to a pained expression. "Give up the guilt, Jethro. The boy deserves the best of you not the guilt ridden you. If he's going to pull through this it's going to be with pizza and headslaps not you wallowing around in self-pity. Look around, how much love has that boy brought to your life?"

Gibbs looked around the basement; it was strange how much of his home had memories of Tony. The bottle of Jack on the work bench was a gift from Tony for Christmas; it also managed to refill itself on father's day too.

The tattered chair in the corner with the view of the TV, Gibbs could picture Tony dozing as he sanded the boat some old black and white movie playing in the background.

The stairs had been warmed numerous times by Tony as he talked about the last movie he'd seen or song he had downloaded. The memories filled the air around Gibbs; normally they would have comforted but now they only added to his guilt.

"You can't even get into my damn house," Gibbs growled. "What did I do to you, DiNozzo?"

The sound of his cellphone ringing pulled him from his guilt.

"Leroy?" Jackson called into the phone as soon as Gibbs answered. "How bad is the boy?"

Filling him in on what he knew, Gibbs listened as his father took his turn at lecturing him. "You go to him and be at his side, son. That boy looks up to you like a father; don't hurt him a second time by not being there."

"After what I did?" Gibbs questioned.

"Son, as the saying goes, shit happens." Jackson was a bit gruff. "Pull yourself together and put that boy first."

"I am by staying away," Gibbs grunted. "He doesn't need to look at me knowing I put him in that bed."

"If it were a bullet that he took for you that landed him there would you feel different?" Jackson posed the question.

"You're damn right I would!" Gibbs snapped.

"Be glad it's not a bullet," Jackson calmed his voice down a bit. "You might not have gotten so lucky. Go to him, son."

"I'll think about it, dad." Gibbs said softly before hanging up.

The next couple hours were spent sanding on the boat, his mind sorting through everything that has been said by everyone. The ringing of the phone startled him a bit.

"Yeah, Gibbs." Jethro answered the phone.

"Agent Gibbs, my name is Maggie Randolph. I am the nurse caring for your agent." Maggie said softly.

"Is something wrong?" Gibbs scrubbed his hand over his face and tried to sober up as he listened.

"Tony's developed a fever," Maggie kept it to the point. "It could be a reaction to the trauma or he could have an infection; either way he's calling out for you."

"Did Dr. Mallard leave? Gibbs questioned.

"No," Maggie responded. "He and his associate, Jimmy, are still here but my patient is not responding to them."

"He will," Gibbs reassured. "Just give him some time."

"Agent Gibbs," Maggie dug her heels in. "My patient is calling out for you and not anyone else; I suggest that you get your butt here unless you are in the hospital yourself and I was unaware." Walking closer to the doorway with the telephone, Nurse Randolph waited for a moment as Tony cried out for Gibbs loud enough for the man to hear him.

"I need to grab a quick shower," Gibbs headed up the stairs. "I'll be there soon."

"Thank you," Maggie hung up the phone and turned to speak to Director Vance at the counter. "He's on his way; you were right that worked."

"Guilt complicates things," Vance sighed. "I know as sure as I am standing here that Gibbs would not hurt that man in that bed intentionally. We'll deal with what happened at a later date but right now; we need to deal with the present."

When Gibbs arrived, Tony was moaning and thrashing, the fever making him restless.

"Boss," Tony yelled out in his fever induced nightmare. "Please, I can do better. Come back, please."

"Jethro," Ducky called out as soon as he saw him in the doorway.

Walking to Tony's side, Gibbs placed a gentle hand on his forehead and whispered in his ear. "I'm right here, Tony. Just rest; I've got your six."

"Boss?" Tony reached out a hand towards him only to have it intercepted by Gibbs. "Ok?"

"Yeah," Gibbs answered softly placing his mouth to Tony's ear; the older man gently placed his lips to Tony's head. "I'm okay; rest now. I'm right here. I won't leave you, Tony. It's going to be okay."

"Always on my six," Tony whispered as he calmed down and sleep claimed him.

"Amazing," Nurse Randolph whispered as she watched her patient calm down. "Absolutely amazing."


	3. Chapter 3

Gibbs sat in the chair by Tony's bed, his hand gently resting on the younger man's arm to let him know that he was there. Once Tony had stilled, Gibbs allowed himself a moment to take in all the machines and wires running to his agent.

 

"Let it go, Probie." Mike's voice was echoing in his head. "The boy needs you; can't you see that."

 

Shaking his head to try to clear his thoughts, Gibbs tried to focus on the present only to find his mind drifting to a different time.

 

"Not a fan of the orange," Tony said with a laugh as he looked around NCIS for the first time.

 

"I don't have a lot of rules. But rule #5 is you don't waste good. You're good." Gibbs gave Tony a light head slap making the other man startle a bit before rubbing his head.

 

"You're good," Gibbs whispered as he watched Tony sleep in the dimly lit room. "Damn it, DiNozzo."

 

"Boss?" Tony struggled towards consciousness after hearing Gibbs' voice.

 

"It's ok," Gibbs reassured. "Go back to sleep."

 

"You're upset?" Tony blinked hard trying to clear his vision of the drug fog.

 

"Be honest with him, Probie." Mike's voice rang out.

 

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded. "We'll talk about it later; you rest."

 

"Boss?" Tony moved his hand to grab at Gibbs' arm. "Are you going to fire me?"

 

"Fire you?" Gibbs was stunned. "No, I'm not going to fire you."

 

"Rule 5?" Tony questioned.

 

"You're still the best damn agent I have worked with," Gibbs placed a gentle hand on the top of Tony's head. "You are mine; I take care of my own."

 

"Never belonged before," Tony whispered as he started to drift back to sleep.

 

"You're good for him," Shannon said softly as she appeared at her husband's side.

 

"I put him in that bed," Gibbs ground out through clenched teeth.

 

"You'll be the reason he gets out of that bed," Shannon reminded him quietly. "Don't underestimate what love can do."

 

"I miss you," Gibbs closed his eyes and inhaled deeply trying to make the moment with Shannon feel more real.

 

"You'll see us soon enough," Shannon smiled. "There is a lot left for you to do here; go make me proud."

 

"How?" Gibbs turned to the image of his wife only to find her gently running her hand through Tony's hair.

 

"Follow that famous Gibbs gut," Shannon smiled. "He needs you, Jethro. You need him too. You're not a quitter and you don't hide when one of your own is hurting; don't start now."

 

"I put him in that bed, Shannon. He may never walk again because I was living up to the second B." Gibbs turned towards the window.

 

"Rule number sixty-four," Shannon smiled.

 

"What's rule sixty-four?" Gibbs questioned.

 

"Love without condition," Shannon smiled at her husband, watching him process. "If you can't figure out how; let Tony teach you."

 

"Love without condition," Gibbs sighed as he continued to stare out the window.

 

Tony watched through his drugged haze as Gibbs talked to his late wife. Even in his fuzzy state, Tony knew that this moment was so private that he felt as if he were intruding but he just couldn't pull himself away from it.

 

"Talk to him," Shannon pointed towards the bed. "Break a rule; it's not a sign of weakness when you love someone."

 

"Shannon," Gibbs whispered as he reached for the fading image of his late wife.

 

"Boss?" Tony said softly trying not to startle Gibbs.

 

"Hey," Gibbs moved to his agent's side. "You need a nurse?"

 

"No," Tony shook his head. "Water?"

 

Gibbs assisted his agent in getting a drink. "Go slow, it's not going anywhere."

 

"Thanks," Tony whispered after he had his fill. "Are you?"

 

"What?" Gibbs looked confused for a moment.

 

"Going anywhere," Tony whispered his eyes avoiding Gibbs' face at all times.

 

"No," Gibbs reassured. "I've got your six."

 

"You didn't mean to hurt me," Tony reassured. "I know that."

 

"But I still did," Gibbs interjected as he pulled up a chair. "I'm sorry, Tony."

 

"Don't do that!" Tony yelled startling Gibbs.

 

"What?" Gibbs stood and moved to Tony's side.

 

"Apologize," Tony gasped. "Don't apologize."

 

"I hurt you," Gibbs tried to reason with Tony only to find his agent becoming more and more agitated.

 

"Gibbs doesn't apologize!" Tony gasped as a wave of pain took over and the monitors started to speed up.

 

Grabbing the call button, Gibbs rang the nurse's station. "He needs something for pain."

 

"Right away," the voice came over the intercom.

 

"Calm down, DiNozzo." Gibbs could feel his composure slipping. A gentle tap to the top of the head was all Tony needed to calm him down.

 

"Thank you, Boss." Tony said automatically.

 

The nurse injected the pain medication and a mild sedative into Tony's IV port; within minutes the younger man's eyes were dropping.

 

"I've got your six," Gibbs whispered as he gently rubbed the top of Tony's head. "Sleep."

 

Tony's eyes closed and his breathing evened out. Gibbs stayed standing by his agent's side until he a noise from the doorway pulled him from his thoughts.

 

"That never ceases to amaze me," Brad commented as he walked further into the room. "You are better than any medication we could give him." Pulling his stethoscope from his neck, the specialist listened to Tony's lungs.

 

"Are they clear?" Gibbs questioned quietly.

 

"They are," Brad reassured. "Ducky filled me in on the accident; don't be so hard on yourself. I can tell you that he's going to forgive you no matter what."

 

"I don't need him being a whipped puppy for me," Gibbs growled.

 

"How about a faithful friend," Pitt smiled. "You are the only one that has stood by him and believed in him. You matter to him because you accept him for who he is and what he is. You see behind the mask and with you he feels at home."

 

"You're not helping, Pitt." Gibbs grunted. "I put him in that bed."

 

 

"And you'll be the reason he gets out of that bed," Brad asserted himself. "Get over yourself and do what is right; he needs you."


	4. Chapter 4

A new day dawned and Gibbs faced it with Brad's words ringing in his ear. He knew there was truth to what everyone was saying. No matter whether or not Gibbs put him in that bed, Tony would fight hard not to let him down; for Gibbs he would walk again.

Gibbs was working with the physical therapist when Tony opened his eyes that morning. Together, they were doing range of motion exercise to keep Tony's joints moving. "You want to do this several times a day," Karen the therapist was relating. "Even when we get him up in the chair, you'll want to get him out of it and do the exercise. Therapy is very important in his recovery."

"I can do that," Gibbs agreed as he kept working with the leg. “Whatever he needs, he’ll get.”

"Boss?" Tony called softly so he didn't startle his Boss.

"Hey," Gibbs gently put his leg on the bed and grabbed the glass of water. "Drink slowly; the doctor will be in soon. This is your physical therapist, Karen."

"Hi," Tony said softly feeling a bit insecure about her presence.

"We're going to get you up and walking," Karen said confidently. "Your friend assures me that you have what it takes to get out of that bed and walk again."

"I will," Tony nodded. "I can't be stuck in a chair; I have a job to do."

Gibbs and Karen continued with the exercises they were doing; Karen showing Gibbs exactly how she wanted therapy done when she was not there. "We'll get him on a schedule; it will be easier that way. Keep him from overdoing it."

"I want to walk again," Tony tried to sit up only to cry out in pain.

"Easy," Palmer rushed to his friend's side. "You'll walk again but not today. Take it easy." Tony continued to gasp from the pain. Gently, Palmer fixed the oxygen mask on his friend's face and turned on the oxygen to help.

"Nice and easy," Gibbs coached from Tony's side where he was gently running his calloused fingers over Tony's scalp. "That's good work, DiNozzo. Nice and easy; breathe. Concentrate on your breathing.”

"I'm going to let him rest," Karen smiled at Tony as she went to leave. "I will come back before I leave to show you a few more things."

"Sorry," Tony whispered from beneath the mask. “I’m so sorry.”

"Agent Gibbs," Palmer said softly. "Why don't you go get a shower and something to eat; I will stay with Tony."

Gibbs studied Palmer for a moment; he could tell there was something on the younger man's mind that he wanted to discuss with Tony. Taking one final long look at his downed agent, Gibbs reluctantly nodded.

"I'll be back in an hour," Gibbs reassured. "I'll get you something edible on my way back."

"Thanks, Boss." Tony mumbled from under the oxygen mask.

"Leave the mask on," Palmer instructed as he moved to sit on the side of the bed. "You're going to be doing some listening and don't need to take it off."

"What's wrong?" Tony mumbled fear and concern lacing his voice.

"This really shook him up," Palmer nodded in the direction of the door. "He's blaming himself and no amount of working your ass off to walk is going to dispel that guilt."

Tony nodded; he knew that Palmer was right. He could see the guilt eating at Gibbs; it was almost palatable.

"You need to talk to him," Palmer said softly. "Make him see that you know the difference between hurting someone by accident and hurting someone on purpose. You have put so much faith and trust in that man; so much love. Gibbs needs to understand that sometimes love comes without condition."

Pulling the mask from his face, Tony blinked back tears that threatened to fall. "How do I do that?"

"By confiding in him," Palmer smiled. "You have a story to tell, Tony. I know it's going to be hard to tell and you're going to hurt telling it but he needs to understand that what happened is forgivable."

"If I can forgive my parents," Tony swallowed hard. "I can forgive this; it's different. Why doesn't he see that?"

"Because you are like a son to him," Palmer explained as he fixed the oxygen mask back on Tony’s face. "You're like a son to him and his actions landed you in that bed. It's his love and support that will get you out of it though."

Gibbs stood listening from just outside the doorway; he never realized until this day just how much Palmer knew about Tony. Listening, he was shocked to realize how much Palmer realized about him. He really didn't give the young man enough credit; he would have to make sure to pay closer attention in the future.

"Could you help me with something?" Tony questioned softly as he pulled the mask away from his face.

"Sure," Palmer smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Would you go to my apartment and bring the box from the bottom of the hallway closet?" Tony looked nervous; well, almost petrified.

"I can," Palmer nodded. "When Agent Gibbs gets back, I will go."

"Thanks," Tony whispered as he replaced the oxygen mask and worked on restoring a calm that he did not feel.

"Tony?" Palmer put a gentle hand on his friend's arm. "What's in the box?"

"Lifetime of memories," Tony mumbled. "Pictures from my childhood."

"Do they tell a story?" Palmer was sick to his stomach realizing that Tony had something that reminded him of his horrific childhood and that he wanted it brought to the hospital.

"Lots of stuff in there," Tony pulled the oxygen mask away one more time. "It will show Gibbs the difference between an accident and hurting someone on purpose."

"You mean abuse," Palmer said softly.

"Yeah," Tony nodded. "Abuse, abandonment, neglect; it's a story that like you said I need to tell him."

"I didn't mean to push you so hard," Palmer was regretting his suggestion and what Tony was about to open himself up to. "I don't think this is a good idea; I just wanted you to talk to him."

"It's over," Tony smiled. "I don't live that life anymore; he needs to know."

"Just don't cause you more pain," Palmer said softly. "Use it to heal."

Pulling himself from the wall, Gibbs set off to get his shower and some food. He needed the time to ground himself so he could be strong for his best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

Gibbs stopped at Tony's apartment; the younger man would be more comfortable with some of his own things. Grabbing the items suggested by the physical therapist during their latest meeting; Jethro moved through gathering some personal effects for Tony.

 

Thinking back to the conversation that he overheard between Tony and Palmer, Jethro quickly made his way to the closet. The memories in the box were going to be painful and he would have to be strong for Tony. Taking the box into the living room, Gibbs sat with it in his lap.

 

Calloused fingers traced the design of the box; taking a deep breath Jethro put the box with the remainder of the items he was taking with him. It would be easy to sneak a peek at the contents; be able to brace himself for the harsh realities of Tony's childhood. Too easy, Gibbs needed to be honest with Tony and to do that he would have to wait until the younger man was ready to reveal the truths within the box to him. He owed it to Tony to not delve into his private life until he was ready to share. He owed Tony his honest reaction; the raw emotions that come from being unprepared for those bumps in the road that life brings. His Tony hadn’t had the luxury of warning to deal with things before they happened; Gibbs did not want to have anything but true emotion for his younger friend.

 

Emptying the fridge of anything that would spoil, Gibbs took out Tony's trash before heading back to the hospital with his bags of items. He knew that it was going to be a tough evening but in the end it would be where the real healing would begin. However, Jethro still could not get past the fact that he had hurt his agent; it was unforgivable in his eyes.

 

Making his way back to the hospital, Gibbs stopped outside the door to Tony's room. He hadn't thought about how he would explain the fact that he had the box. Taking a deep breath, he entered and gave Palmer a look that was slightly confusing. Pulling the box from the bag, he handed it to the younger man.

 

"I overhead the conversation," Gibbs confessed.

 

"Did you look in it?" Palmer asked softly trying not to wake Tony up.

 

"No," Gibbs shook his head. "I thought about it but I couldn't do it. I owe Tony that.”

 

"His fever is down," Palmer reported trying to change the subject to help Gibbs relax. "He's running about 99.7 so they are going to keep monitoring it. Dr. Pitt is due in later this afternoon to check his lungs."

 

"Okay," Gibbs sighed as he started unpacking Tony's things. "Do you want to stay while we talk? You seem to know Tony pretty well."

 

"I would," Palmer gave a sad smile as he looked at his friend. "I think this is a private moment between the two of you though. Just do me a favor?"

 

"What's that?" Gibbs needed to have some faith in Palmer; he knew Tony so well.

 

"Don't hide," Palmer said softly. "You can show your emotions to Tony; he's not going to hurt you with them. You may even find they help you both heal. Respect him enough to trust him with that part of you.”

 

"That's not what I do," Gibbs retorted softly.

 

"It's about time that it is," Palmer countered gently. "At least with Tony. Gibbs, show him that much trust; that much love.”

 

Gibbs paused for a moment before drawing in a deep breath. "You're right."

 

Placing the box on the over the bed table, Palmer squeeze Tony's hand before nodding at Gibbs and leaving. He would make his way back to the hospital in a couple hours to check on his friend. If everything was fine, he wouldn't even make his presence known.

 

Tony woke up slowly about twenty minutes after Palmer left. As soon as his eyes were fully open, he saw the box on the table in front of him. With a shaky hand, Tony reached for it; trying hard to keep his fear abated and his emotions under control.

 

"You want some water?" Gibbs questioned softly seeing the fear flash in Tony's eyes.

 

"Ice chips?" Tony whispered; his throat was hurting.

 

"I will get some," Gibbs moved towards the door only to stop and give his agent a long look.

 

Tony pulled a picture from the box; his hands were shaking with fear and emotion. The walk down memory lane was going to be painful but he needed to do it in order to prove to Gibbs there is a difference between abuse and accident.

 

"Let's see if the ice chips help that sore throat," Gibbs tenderly spooned the ice into his agent's mouth. "Let it melt so it sooths it."

 

"Thanks," Tony sighed softly when he had enough of the ice. Handing the picture in his hand to Gibbs, he watched as his boss took a seat and really examined the picture. The picture was a young Tony dressed in a sailor suit with bruises on his arms, legs and face.

 

"How old were you in this?" Gibbs questioned.

 

"Four," Tony's answer was a choked whisper.

 

"You were dressed up?" Gibbs questioned needing to gently prod at his agent for the story.

 

"Mother dressed me up to go get my picture taken," Tony's eyes stung with tears at the memory. "She didn't seem to notice the bruises until we got outside in the sunlight. When she did, she ran back in the house and left me in the driveway all alone."

 

"Who took the picture?" Gibbs handed it back to Tony.

 

"Ainsley, he was our butler.” Tony closed his eyes trying to keep his emotions in check; this was more painful than he thought. He needed to draw strength; he needed to confide in Gibbs to make him understand.

 

"How'd you get the bruises, Tony?" Gibbs moved closer just in case he needed to give Tony some reassurance that he was safe.

 

"She drank a lot; that's when she'd hit me. I don't think she would remember hitting me though until she saw the bruises." Tony started fiddling with the blanket to keep his hands busy.

 

"Why did she drink so much?" Gibbs pushed a bit further.

 

"To kill the pain," Tony sighed. "My father was a man of many mistresses when I was growing up. It didn't matter if he was married or not; he was still sleeping around. My mother found out about it and couldn't take the pain but she couldn't divorce him either because she got nothing if she did."

 

"What did she die from?" Gibbs never had asked that question before; he had always wondered but never wanted to push.

 

"Cancer," Tony snorted. "Ironic isn't it? Should have been something to do with her drinking but it was cancer. We were in a room about this size; the only machine was the IV pump and the oxygen. I was old enough to understand what was happening and I was so scared."

 

Tony was losing his battle to keep the tears at bay. Gibbs placed a grounding, supportive hand on his arm and gave a gentle squeeze.

 

"I was by myself when she took her last breath," Tony said softly. "I stood there waiting for the next one to come but it wouldn't. I begged her to breathe, Gibbs. Why didn't she listen to me?" A sob escaped Tony's throat as he grabbed onto Gibbs' hand refusing to let go.

 

"She couldn't," Gibbs answered softly the emotions too much for him.

 

"I used to think it was my fault," Tony whispered through the tears. "If I had a been a better son; she would have lived."

 

Pulling the oxygen mask from the wall where the nurse had hung it, Gibbs placed it gently over Tony's mouth and nose. "Slow down your breathing for me, Tony. Nice and easy, Tony. You can do this."

 

"Please Gibbs," Tony clawed at the mask to speak to his boss. “Have to tell you, Gibbs.”

 

"Leave it on," Gibbs pulled his hand away gently. "I can hear you with it on."

 

"You have to let it go," Tony's eyes begged Gibbs to listen. "I forgave her; she hurt me on purpose. My father hurt me for years and still does. I know you didn't hurt me on purpose; there isn't anything that you did that needs my forgiveness. You would never hurt me on purpose; not the way they did."

 

"Breathe," Gibbs shushed his breathless agent. "Just work on breathing right now, Tony."

 

"Please Gibbs," Tony's body was losing the battle against the exhaustion he now felt. "Please!"

 

"Okay, Tony." Gibbs reassured. "Sleep now; we'll talk more later."

 

“No!” Tony frantically moved his head side to side trying to dislodge the oxygen mask. “You have to promise me. Please, promise me.”

 

“Calm down,” Gibbs fixed the strap to the mask over Tony’s head as he grabbed his hands in his own and held them. “Stop fighting it and calm down.”

 

“Why won’t you promise me?” Tony sobbed; his breath catching as he did. “Why?”

 

“I hurt you,” Gibbs explained softly. “I can’t forgive myself for that, Tony.”

 

“You have to,” Tony’s eyes threatened to close from the rush of emotions that he had experienced. “You’re not like them. It was an accident, Boss. Please, I know the difference.”

 

“I’ll work on it,” Gibbs promised as he gently caressed the side of Tony’s chin to relax him. “I promise to work on it. Sleep now, Tony. You need sleep to get better. Close your eyes; you’re safe, I’m right here.”

 

"You're a good friend," Tony mumbled as sleep finally claimed him leaving Gibbs wiping tears as the emotions crashed over him like a tidal wave.


	6. Chapter 6

“Calm down,” Gibbs fixed the strap to the mask over Tony’s head as he grabbed his hands in his own and held them. “Stop fighting it and calm down.”

 

“Why won’t you promise me?” Tony sobbed; his breath catching as he did. “Why?”

 

“I hurt you,” Gibbs explained softly. “I can’t forgive myself for that, Tony.”

 

“You have to,” Tony’s eyes threatened to close from the rush of emotions that he had experienced. “You’re not like them. It was an accident, Boss. Please, I know the difference.”

 

“I’ll work on it,” Gibbs promised as he gently caressed the side of Tony’s chin to relax him. “I promise to work on it. Sleep now, Tony. You need sleep to get better. Close your eyes; you’re safe, I’m right here.”

 

"Make a good dad," Tony mumbled as sleep finally claimed him leaving Gibbs wiping tears as the emotions crashed over him like a tidal wave.

 

Gibbs fixed the oxygen mask to Tony's face and moved to sit at his side. Picking up the picture, Gibbs studied it with more scrutiny than before. Tony's eyes read like a thousand word essay, they told a story of pain, abuse, fear and loneliness. Scrubbing his hand over his face, Gibbs took a deep breath and began to really focus on the years that had passed; the years since Tony came into his life.

 

"He's so easy to love," Shannon whispered to her husband. "He wants nothing from you but love in return, Jethro. You can do that; you can give him that."

 

"Agent Gibbs?" Palmer managed to quietly sneak back into the room. "I thought I would bring you back some food and coffee before I go home."

 

"Thanks," Gibbs whispered as he watched Palmer put the containers on the bedside table.

 

"Are you okay?" Palmer asked gently; he could tell Gibbs was hurting.

 

"He ..." Gibbs struggled for the words before giving up and handing Palmer the picture.

 

"You are nothing like his parents," Palmer said softly as he looked at the picture of the bruised and battered little boy. "You are here; that's more than they ever were."

 

"How do you have a child; especially one as good hearted and loving as Tony, and hurt them repeatedly?" Gibbs shook his head trying to keep his composure. "I would do anything to have my daughter back; so many parents out there that don't deserve children."

 

"I'm not even going to pretend to understand why God allows bad things to happen to children," Palmer sighed. "Maybe Tony was your second chance; maybe you were his. If I may be so bold, Agent Gibbs, you bring out the best in each other."

 

"He's a good man," Gibbs took a deep shuttering breath. "I've been hard on him."

 

"Because you know what he's capable of and because you know he's a good man," Palmer sat down in the chair opposite of Gibbs. "When you have been the hardest on him; you were protecting him."

 

"I said some things," Gibbs' eyes burned with unshed tears. "Things that stung; things that ..."

 

"Hurt. Yes, you did and maybe your delivery wasn't the best," Palmer replied. "Your message was clear though."

 

"Was it?" Gibbs sighed heavily.

 

"Yes," Palmer smiled. "It was. Your approach could use some work but it's still the same message. You love him enough that you don't want him to make the same mistakes that you have in your life. Not all of us are fortunate enough to have someone that cares that much; that loves us that much."

 

"I guess we aren't," Gibbs stood and moved to the window.

 

Looking to the bed, Palmer was surprised to see Tony's green eyes looking back at him. Just as he was about to acknowledge the man was awake, they slid shut leaving Palmer alone with Gibbs once more.

 

"I'm a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason," Palmer moved to the window and stood to look at Gibbs. "Maybe this was part of a wakeup call that you both need?"

 

"I don't think so," Gibbs shook his head. He couldn't believe that what was happening was meant to be; that some twist of fate brought this on.

 

"Maybe it wasn't supposed to happen this way," Palmer motioned to the bed with his head. "However, I think you should consider all the things that could have gone wrong and look at this as a blessing. You could be burying him instead. I'm going to go; eat and get some rest. He's going to need the best parts of you to get through this."

 

Gibbs watched as the young man walked over to his friend and with a gentle hand resting on his head, he leaned over and whispered something in Tony's ear. The nodding of Tony's head took Gibbs by surprise; he thought the younger man was still asleep. Palmer lightly kissed the side of Tony's head; the gesture so intimate between two friends that Gibbs almost felt like he imposing upon a private moment.

 

"You get some rest," Palmer said softly. "I'll see you in the morning; Breena and I will bring you some breakfast. I'm glad you are going to be okay; I don't think I can imagine a day of my life without you in it."

 

"Jimmy," Gibbs called as the young man got to the doorway. "Thank you."

 

Nodding, Palmer ducked his head and made his way out of the room. There wasn't anything left for him to do right now; the rest was going to be up to the men being left in the hospital room with nothing to do but taking the time to heal.

 

Gibbs sat in the chair by Tony's side and placed a protective hand on his arm. "Sleep," Gibbs ordered softly. "It's the only way your body is going to heal."

 

"Boss?" Tony started to pull away the mask.

 

"Don't," Gibbs shook his head. "You need that right now and you need me. I've got your six, Tony. "

 

"Letting it go?" Tony gasped.

 

"Working through it," Gibbs replied. "Sleep, Tony. Just sleep, now." Gibbs put a gentle hand on the top of Tony's head and rubbed his thumb softly across his eyebrow. "I'm right here; it's okay now."

 

Tony fell into a deep sleep; his breathing becoming less labored the more relaxed he became.

 

"Is Junior going to be okay?" DiNozzo Sr. asked from the doorway.

 

"With time," Gibbs said softly.

 

"Heard about the accident," Anthony walked to the side of his son's bed. "I know it was just an accident; I am sure my son does too."

 

"He does," Gibbs nodded.

 

"If you don't mind," Senior took Tony's hand in his own. "I would like to spend some time with my son, alone."

 

"What if I do mind?" Gibbs stepped up even closer to the bed; he felt the need to protect Tony from a life time of hurts.

 

"As his next of kin," Senior looked down on his son's sleeping form. "I'll have you removed."

 

"No," Gibbs shook his head. "You won't." Handing Anthony the picture from the bedside table, Gibbs watched as the emotions played across the older man's face.

 

"He was so little in this," Senior smiled sadly at the site of his little boy. "He was such a happy child. High strung; got into more trouble than you even imagine."

 

"Funny," Gibbs grunted. "You look at that pictures and see a happy little boy. I look at that picture and I see a battered little guy who just wanted his father to love him and stop the abuse."

 

"Battered?" Senior questioned softly.

 

"Look at it in the light," Gibbs nodded to the hallway.

 

"I don't remember this," Senior commented.

 

"No," Gibbs countered. "I'm sure you don't. You spent so much time in the bottom of the bottle or working that your son never had a father. You missed out on one hell of a child."

 

"Tell him that I stopped; I'll come back and see him when he's a little stronger." Senior took a deep breath. "You know, Gibbs. You're wrong."

 

"About?" Gibbs questioned.

 

"Junior never having a father," Senior looked up with tear filled eyes and handed Gibbs the picture. "He has you." Turning toward the door, Senior paused before heading out without even taking one last look back.

 

Gibbs watched Senior disappear out the door of Tony's room and what he presumed to be his life too. Anthony DiNozzo Sr. had never been the one to stand by his son when the going was rough; he just simply got going. For Tony's sake, he hoped the younger man was not aware of the man's presence.

Taking Tony's hand in his own, Gibbs sat in the stillness and quiet of the night and allowed Tony's breathing to lull him into a place of peace. Sleep claimed Gibbs quickly; his dreams those of accomplishments reached in Tony's recovery, the nightmares abated.

It was kiss on the cheek and the sound of Tony laughing that woke the Marine. "Good Morning," Gibbs chuckled at the sight of his agent trying to looking so innocent as his nurse checked him over.

"Morning, Boss." Tony's face split into a big grin. "I bet her you'd wake up before she actually kissed you."

"What do you owe her?" Gibbs laughed.

"I have to eat whatever she brings me for breakfast," Tony sighed. "All of it."

"If you lost?" Gibbs looked to his agent.

"She owed me a pepperoni pizza," Tony wagged his eyebrows as the nurse finished his vitals making her giggle.

"I'll be back with your tray, handsome."

"Any chance of you getting me out of here?" Tony gave Gibbs the puppy dog eyes.

"No," Gibbs laughed. "Let's see what it is before you plan an escape."

Breakfast came and much to Tony's delight it was actually good. Gibbs smiled at his agent as the younger man consumed everything on his plate and looked as if he were still hungry. Before Gibbs could question him, Palmer arrived with good coffee and break burritos for all.

"You are a good friend, Jimmy Palmer." Tony groaned dramatically as he bit into the burrito. "This is so good; I am so hungry."

"That is a great sign," Karen stated as she walked into the room. "It means your body is healing and I can get you up and moving soon."

Soon turned into two months; two months of Tony pushing himself beyond his limits. Two months of Gibbs watching as Tony struggled with the ins and outs of being confined to a wheelchair.

Two months, three days and fourteen hours after Tony had been hit by the car he took his first unassisted steps. Gibbs stood in the back of the conference room hiding from the director; ready to bail out the door until he saw Tony stand.

Slowly but with great determination, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo walked to the podium and stood before his fellow agents.

"Today, I stand here a changed man. I stand here a man that has changed over the years that I have worked at NCIS. Some fear that job leaves you jaded while others struggle to keep perspective. I am very lucky to have served under a great man." Tony took a deep breath. "I have learned a lot from Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I've learned a lot about not only becoming a better agent but becoming a better man. It has been an honor and a privilege to serve as Senior Field Agent on Team Gibbs. "

Gibbs listened to the words his agent was saying allowing them to really sink in. Tony had no clue how much he had taught Gibbs over the years; how much joy and fulfillment he brought to his life.

"It is my honor to stand before you today to present, my boss.. and my friend with Navy Meritorious Civilian Service Award. " Tony took a deep breath. "The Navy Meritorious Civilian Service Award is hereby present to Supervisory Special Agent, Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

Tony's eyes locked on to Gibbs' through the crowd. Vance moved forward to take the medal from Tony so that he could grab onto his cane and take a seat.

"No," Tony growled low. "I'm fine."

"You're shaking from the strain," Vance commented under his breath; before he could say another word several gasps were heard in the room.

Looking up, Tony's eyes filled with tears as he saw his boss coming forward to accept his medal for the first time in twelve years. Gibbs rounded the podium and stood close enough to Tony that the younger man could lean on him a little bit.

"I don't need an award to do my job," Gibbs began. "Working with my team is reward enough and at the end of the day if we've put a bad guy away, that's even better."

Gibbs signaled Palmer to come forward and set a chair behind Tony, just in case.

"If anyone deserves an award for extraordinary service, accomplishments and acts of heroism in a life threatening situation it would be my Senior Field Agent, Anthony DiNozzo." Gibbs turned to look at his agent with a smile so genuine that it brought tears to the eyes of many, he handed the medal to Tony.

"Thank you," Tony whispered softly.

"You do me proud," Gibbs nodded at Tony watching as the emotions played across the younger man's face. Palmer and Ducky stepped up beside Tony to offer support while Ziva, Tim and Abby took turns pulling both of the agents into hugs and handshakes.

Tony couldn't speak; all he could do was nod and allow his team to surround him with love. An action that could have left him crippled and taken his career from him was countered by his reaction; the reaction that no matter what, he knew that Gibbs cared for him and would never hurt him intentionally; the reaction that he would not give up without a fight.

Life is about actions and reactions. There is no such thing as an accident. Everything that happens to us happens for a reason, which is the cause and effect also known as the action and reaction; not by chance. For every reaction in our lives there is a specific action and if we do not like the effects that we are enjoying or suffering, then we have to take time to look at the actions or the cause that brought us to that moment in time. You can change the course of your life simply by not only your actions but your reactions.


End file.
